to find the Sun: |>o<| <-- I can make a bow :)

For a while, I felt frustrated that my friends at school are all younger than me. I stopped minding a while ago though, because there isn't anything I can do about it, and they're funny. Then, while walking up to our mandolin concert, I found out one of my best friends in the club has the exact same birthday as me! After wishing for friends closer to my age, I came across someone precisely my age.

This is one of the reasons I'm glad the joining-the-rock-band thing didn't work out. The people in the band are all 1st years. I wouldn't have met any new people either. It probably would have been fun, true, but since it didn't work [all the school rock bands are already established and I can't just hop into one midway through the year] I joined mandolin. Everyone in mandolin was new to me, and they are mostly 2nd years, which is the grade I would be in if I was placed by age. So this means lots of new friends who are more likely to become good friends. And mandolin is every day, so it fills up my time much more nicely than weekly rock band would have.

I was walking to home the other day, near home, on a drizzly cold day. There was a big gust of wind, and I immediately felt like I was back at home walking to the barn. I could almost feel the rough wood of the door, the cold metal handles, and the comfort of getting inside and turning on the lights. And it made me realize that I don't think I'll ever be able to be homesick, because all of my experiences and emotions have never gone away. Everything I've ever felt or thought is still there. I agree with the Vonnegut idea of time that everything exists all at once and we just experience one moment at a time. But just because a moment isn't the one showing up doesn't mean it isn't just as true. My whole life is inside of me, and so I can never miss anything because it is all there. I really should start writing when I'm not ridiculously tired. This sounds so cliche right now, and it was going to be very insightful. :(

Oh my! How have I forgotten to mention this till now!!! The baby was born a few days ago!! I am now a host aunt. The baby [a girl] is sooo cute. It makes me a little less repulsed by pregnancy [just a very very little bit]. no name yet. They're still at the hospital, but they're coming home the day after tomorrow. Its my first time living with an infant [other than myself]. I wonder what it will be like.

I had a funny experience the other day... My family and I were buying curtains, and my parents asked how mandolin was going. I showed them my new callouses [I'm so proud of them], and my host dad whipped a little spray bottle out of his briefcase/purse and started spraying my hands. I asked why, he said it was so that they wouldn't hurt. I asked what it was... it was water. The whole experience just seemed so strange and unexpected, especially because after ward he started spritzing his hair.

As usual, I'm forgetting lots of things I wanted to say and the things I'm saying are coming out wrong.

Sooo pictures instead :)